$$ tHis, I proMisE mYseLF $$


The most dreaded meeting of all, (drum roll plz) introducing the C854 System Wide Contractors Meeting!!! Yawn… I was thinking and bitching at the same time for the whole morning of means and ways to get away from the meeting. Nevertheless, I did not succeed, sulkily, I still went along when Robin came and told me its time for us to go le. I took Robin’s car while Eric and Richard drives. Haha.. All my STE colleagues are rich! Cause a lot of them drives, and we have no lack of drivers when going to meeting. In my case, I get to choose between 3 cars.

I took a ride from Robin in the end because of 3 reasons. 1st, he’s the only 1 who came to me and told me its time to go le while the other 2 were still trying to pack their stuff. 2nd, if I were to take Eric’s car, he needs to adjust his car seat b4 and after I took the ride(as his wife is of smaller built then me and he don’t wanna explain why he drives others around) so I think I’ll save him of the trouble. At least Robin need not adjust his car seat for me and his wife knew that he’s always end up sending me to and forth meetings because we lived nearby. The last reason is that I’m afraid of Richard’s nagging. No doubt, I respect him a lot but sometimes he nags too much for his own good. And it really takes me a lot to listen to his nagging. FYI, Robin and Eric also cannot stand it, haha so, its not only me kk?

Back to the meeting, we were the 1st to arrive and went up to the meeting place, level 2 of the sit office. Richard keep saying that we came too early and the meeting time is suppose to be2.30pm and not 2pm that we claim. Anyway, I told him that it was stated in the minutes of meeting that the meeting is due to start at 2pm and he kept quiet. Robin took a seat 1st while me went off to pass something to Winston. Anyway, b4 that I threw my file at the seat on his right hand side, which was towards the end of the table (far from the LTA and C854 side)and off I went. Secretly, I was hoping that Eric will take the seat beside me which will means that I sit in between my 2 colleagues. Haha he really did lor. Lucky me, and clever me not take the seat to his left as I knew Richard will take the seat and I scare I end up need listen to him babbler during the meeting which he previously did and I didn’t know how to react when I was trying to listen to what the chairperson of the meeting is saying.

The other system wide contractors start arriving and so do LTA. I was already feeling sleepy in the cold room and not to mention the weather is also very cooling. To my surprise, the meeting went on without much cross fire as I expect there would be. Except for the part when Ronnie (LTA, C830-Comms) were commenting on our RCP and that toopid Winston keep shaking his head dunno for whatever toopid reasons and they did raise their voices. It was back to normal after every1 got it sorted out.

Of cuz, the meeting did have its glitches. For example, Mr Heng(C854 Chief Coordinator and chairperson of the meeting) keep giving confusing answers when he did not know how to answer our questions. I think it got on Yang(C831 Senior engineer)’s nerve. I can practically see him fuming. Haha.. a quote from Eric,” If he cannot convince us, he confuse us” and I think Mr Heng had done a great job on that. Well done Mr Heng! Cuz while he was explaining, I got more and more confuse that I finally tune out. Lucky, its not my issue if not I sure gonna miss some points de.

Mr Heng posted some questions to us that we cannot answer and Ronnie( our LTA) helped to answer on our behalf. Then Eric overheard Ronnie telling Sedek(also our LTA representative) that we 4 are a blur lot and dunno what we doing. I mean WTH!! He knew that our team is a brand new whole team with either with no experience (me), experience but irrelevant (Richard), drafter turned engineer (Robin) or a new joined colleague (Eric) and then he claims that we are a blur lot!! You try la, when we took over, it was a pile of shit lehz, den we need start from scratch to look into the stations, although hitting the walls sometimes, but we did pick up and learn from there le. I can safely say that every 1 did they best and do what we can do within our limit le. What more do you want from us? As far as I’m concern, he’s not giving new comers like us a chance to pick up and to perform, his mentality is fix le, that we are a blur lot. Period.

But did he stop in his tracks to think that how much effort we put in? How hard we tried to comment on the CSD/SEM and wanting it to be a workable 1? How many meetings we went thru with our management? How many arguments we have with system engineers and how much shit that my team mates and I put up with i.e. no support from my PM and left to fend off the offensive C854 and how much setbacks we had? THE ANSWER IS NO. All we did is dunno the answer to 1 fucking idiot question and there he make the comment! The question, shadows over what we have been doing for the past 2 months, all the efforts and sweat and time we put in. In my opinion, if you really cannot stand the 4 of us, then please write in to my higher management to ask them send some big shot or Mr Know-It-All down who can answer that fucking question that we 4 did not know the answer to. Then it will save you the trouble of helping us to answer. In any case shd my higher management agreed to ur proposal, you can need not be present for future meeting as the big shot or Mr Know-It-All will have the answer.

It’s sometimes really sad to work in this project. Cuz for 1 mistake you make, you will be condemned. For in this case, my whole team was being condemned. I know he will somehow feedback to my higher management and sooner or later we will hear of it, but I’m mentally prepare to answer back. That is shd the higher management start questioning my team. If every thing goes well, chances are they will brush it off and will not even mention it to us. I shall not be affected by this little episode, I shall learn from this mistake and start reading up every other materials that is related to this project and aim to be Miss Know-It-All, I shall become a person that he will learn to respect and give way to. This, I promise myself.