#@@ i ThINk i LoVe U...CUz i MissED u.. @@

Been feeling quite down recently, 3 quizzes coming up next week, been studying like hell but couldn’t seems to finish the studying. I had been locking myself up in my room to study for the past few days except for yesterday where I felt very tired after the CE activity.

Everything went quite well in that activity with the help of my team mates, lucky got them help to set up the equipments, if not I think Zhang Lin and me wun be able to manage it or maybe will need a much longer time to set up. And also lucky got Ge Ge there in the prelim rounds to help out with the things even though he himself is hafing another activity in the afternoon. Being the 1st time support this kind of activity, there is a lot of things that I dunno how to go about it. Lucky got them to help to keep a look out for me.

The tiring part is only, getting the equipments ready, the shifting before and after the activity and of cuz not to mention keep track of the inventory of the equipments and tools and making sure we have cater to what the facilitator had requested for. But in the middle of the activity, a small incident happen. Hehe I accidentally clipped myself with a piler and therefore results in a dunno izzit blood lump forming on my 2nd finger. It is very painful lo. I wanted to burst the lump but Ge Ge say cannot, it is affecting me when I write lehz. Shit, still got quizzes. How? Clumsy me, as usual, hehe.

I dunno why I am feeling very moody nowadays, it is not the studies as I oredi took them in my stride, but then something is bothering me and I really couldn’t pin point the problem. To start it off, I dun even know what it is, I only can sense that I am troubled. I suddenly missed him a lot. Wanted to talk to him, but dun wanna to bother him as I aso dunno how to tell him what is troubling me. Many times, I wanted to msg him but then the words just wun come out. In the end, I juz sat there, staring at my phone, thinking what to type and gave up in the end.

I am in a dilemma, I wanted him to know that I am troubled and show concern for me but then at the same time, I dun want to sound like a baby and keep bothering him where he himself have enuff problems of his own to deal with. But then I really feel very vexed, the feeling got worse that I dunno what is bothering me. What the f***. I tried to put up a brave front but then deep down, I am feeling very rotten. Everyday, it’s like I am wearing a smiling mask on my face and then I can only take it down when I am back in my room. Dunno how long this shitty feeling is gonna last but I wish that it would go away soon. I wan to find back the happie me.

By the way, today marks the 64th month that we are together. *MUACKZ* Luv ya lots!!!